believing in a higher power

It's been over 2 years since meditating to this timeless set:

if it says "Video unavailable" click through to YouTube

After focusing on supporting the slow arts (both out there and building my own practice), electronic beats weren't very welcome in meditative spaces the times I tried to dial back home - looking to break away from speaking-based guided meditations. I wanted the more non-verbal, I didn't want silence, and realize after listening to this set again, words have their place - but more in a poetic, mantra, artistic, melodic way.

It never ceases to amaze me that something comes out of meditating 70 minutes to this set.

I struggled a bit being so familiar with the journey, "knowing" what to expect, listening for something "new" - like I was hearing this for the first time. I had a mental construct already in my mind this is a journey about confronting your fears and breaking through to freedom. I had to let this go and listen newly.

Then it came, I felt like I was listening to a higher power - this is the part of the journey that resonates with me most in this phase of my life - to trust in a higher power - not necessarily God - rather a higher force and that the force exists, acknowledges itself and disappears - the feeling one must have when saying goodbye to a motherly figure as a child, where one felt safe and nurtured.

I can't help but feel a higher power is intervening. I feel I would have never stumbled on research I feel good about if it weren't for spirits in my life.

To trust my life choices, despite having certain consequences on others, are perfect. There isn't any other place I "should" be. I am exactly where I am regardless of whether I like it or not. Fortunately I am happy about where I am, the progress I'm making. No, I'm not exactly on an island in Thailand like some of my friends and acquaintances are. Am I dealing with FOMO? 😅